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Twitter: A Quantifiable Popularity Contest Even You Can Win

June 9, 2009

Not to say you’re not popular or anything. Everyone has a fan club. I’ve got the kid who follows me around and you’ve got your grandma. I think I mentioned once before that everyone has a niche. Some of you may not find giggling goth snowboarders attractive, but there is totally a market for such a creature. That market is easier to find on Twitter!

The only thing is, if people think you’re an autobot trying to sell them tickets to the moon, you won’t have any followers. And if they can’t tell who you are AT ALL?  There are lots of real people to listen to. Like, Paris Hilton. I totally retweeted her picture of a doghouse today because it was a mini-mansion.

So how to tell you’re a real person: start with a picture of yourself. Add links of whatever you’re looking at on the internet, along with whatever you happened to be thinking about.

Warning: if you swear, there is a twitter bot that will tell you to stop cursing. I blocked the fucking thing.

And then other people will be like, HEY, this person is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! I am a snowboarder! I am from Vancouver! I like Girls and You Are One! That Thing You Just Said Was Funny! And before you know it you have followers.

And you know, they may like you cuz you’re Snarky, but they might be a Ninja and you’re on the Pirate side of things. That’s rad too, you don’t have to follow them back. Although auto-following people will get you a lot of followers, you can’t be sure you’ll have something in common with all of them.
I guess you can also use it to tweet with JUST friends, but that’s mostly how I use Facebook. Always open to new friends on there, too, though!

So anyways, that’s how to use Twitter in a nutshell.  Apparently some people get business off of there too- I would just chalk that up to the more you know someone exists, the more likely you will think of them when you need their niche. So, hopefully if you are ever needing a famous artist, you will be looking my way. Haha.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 10, 2009 1:24 am

    Twitter can tell me not to swear? Fuck that!

    • katanabarnett permalink
      June 10, 2009 9:39 pm

      i think it works more they just tell you you’re swearing like you hadn’t noticed! haha

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