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What’s Stopping You From Hanging out with The Love of Your Life Every Day?

April 21, 2009

“Probably me.” is my answer.

I was asked, “What’s stopping you from drawing?”

I was so confused. I said, “Nothing….I get in trouble all the time for drawing. At work, when I was in school, you know, anytime I’m supposed to be doing something I’m drawing.”

But then I realized, I never sit down to draw. I go out two nights a week, more if I can, watch horror movies, where I spend half the movie with my hands over my eyes, spend hours writing messages on facebook, cutting up fabric to make shirts that don’t fit. But I don’t

Sit down and draw.

And when I realized that I started doing something every day. I did scanned illustrations in photoshop and coloured them, i did a portrait in pastels, made a birthday card for my brother, and felt so happy.

The realization that I was STOPPING MYSELF from doing what I love was huge. The difference from what I’d been thinking before was huge. Before, my thought process was, “Do I feel like drawing or do X activity.” The answer would always be X. (even if X was watching Rock of Love. Painful, but true)

And when I was doing X, my subconscious would cry and say, “I don’t want to do X, I want to DRAW.” And my fidgety hands would find some paper, like Idle Devil Hands with a mind of their own! “This, THIS is what we want to do!” scribble. scribble

I didn’t hear them. When I figured this out, it made me so sad. I wasn’t listening to myself. How can I be an artist if I’m not connected to my Self? That is not highest or best.

I felt productive after figuring that out. I felt a little like Edmund of Narnia, in Prince Caspian, when he tore off the dragon scales. Painful, but so nice.

What do you find yourself doing when your everyday life mind is busy doing something else? where do you go when you don’t say you can’t? when you wake up at night? what makes your stomach turn when you don’t get it done?

Listen to yourself. Make yourself happy.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Sara permalink
    April 28, 2009 11:12 pm

    THIS. is wonderful.

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